mrs. swift reporting in

Hey guys! Aimee here. First and foremost, I do want to say if you really want to know what is going on in my life (on a more consistent basis) go here. Otherwise don't. It's whatever.

So if I could describe my summer in one word it would be grateful. More than anything I am so thankful for a summer to take a break, relax, reflect, get in community, be with Christopher and strengthen my relationship with the Lord. It has been one of the greatest blessings in a long time.

I am working as a volunteer staff for the LT program. This means I am committed to help lead a project group (somewhat like canvas group) and mentoring 7 women. I also have really enjoyed getting together with some of the Mizzouer girls here, too.

Other than those responsibilities as a volunteer staff (which isn't too much, really), I spend my time with Chris, staff women, reading (a ton!), blogging (yes!), crafting (craft sabbath tuesdays), learning to use GIMP, reading more, hiking and drooling over wildflowers.

But I don't want you to think that everything has been all lilacs and roses (although I have really enjoyed all the beautiful wildflowers on my hikes)! The Lord has been challenging me in great ways.

At the beginning of the summer I told God that I really wanted him to reveal all the junk in my life that he wants me to see and he has done.just.that.

God has been revealing my insecurities to me, specifically my struggle with comparing myself with other women around me. And he even has given me the strength and courage to share that with those women and ask for forgiveness and grace. He has revealed my pride and selfish ambition. I'm still not really sure what to do with that. I have also struggled with feeling like an unemployed workaholic (if that makes sense?). At times I don't know what to do with myself and I tell myself that I should be doing more, but then I remind myself what the summer is for me: rest : and then I don't feel so sloppy. (On a good day).

BUT one of the best things about my summer so far has been spending time with the staff women and wives. For once, in a very long time, I am not the oldest woman of the bunch! It has been so huge for older women to pour into me, to show me what a family with kids looks like, to model openness and transparency even when you're over 30-- it has been incredible and has reignited my passion for ministry. Seriously. I could go on for many more paragraphs, but I won't.

I am excited for July. I am excited that I still have another month left. I am excited for what God will do in the next month. I am excited for more hikes, more Christopher and more mountains. Basically, I am really glad that I get one more month here to learn, grow and reflect.

Thanks for sharing ya'll! I really love hearing what is going on... even if I see you everyday! :)

It's Gonna Be Worth It

Greetings from the mountains! (well to those of you who aren't here with me) Currently I'm sittin on the porch of the Admin, sipping on some coffee, marveling at God's beauty and spending some time with one on one with our Father.

But don't let this picture fool you. It sounds pretty peaceful and perfect I know, but that has not been the case for my life this summer. Honestly, from day one my summer has been absolutely nothing of what I expected it to be. It was completely turned upside down, crushed. For the most part I was coming into this summer with a pretty open mind ready for a God encounter and some mountain adventures... but apparently my mind didn't have as much breeze room as I thought it did. 

From day one God was crushing me. I even remember crying at work, (although it was hard to tell if it was crying or sweat because of the constant stem in my face from the dish cleaning machine) But yes crying at work and coming to the first LT service an absolute mess ready to leave and wondering what I've gotten myself into this summer.  Coming late to LT was a pretty hard adjustment and first hurdle,  but then my job got changed twice and ultimately I was put on the PM shift of foodservice which was anything but what I was thinking my life would look like. I realized I wouldn't be having the same time off as 95% of the LTers who worked during the day, and I immediately felt this sense of grief. This was supposed to be one of the greatest summers of my life, hanging with God, having an awesome community and taking in God's beauty. How was that possible with my life looking like this? But God had other plans. Not Margaret's plans.

Being half way through now, I'm learning that this trial in my job and time has been for my good. I'm comfortable with people and with my schedule the way it is, that just wasn't possible. I was going to have a lot of alone time. Silence and solitude. I'm even still really trying to see it positively for my good, even though I still need to constantly remind myself to see things from the perspective of that truth. I asked for a summer with God and I'm getting one. I think I just wasn't expecting it to be as forceful, but hey I guess whatever it takes, right? So my summer now consists of me sitting at the same table in the admin every morning with my coffee, my bible and God. (Except for today because someone didn't know they were sitting at my table and I'm writing this blog post.) I know it sounds pretty nice, and it is. But I think it's important to keep in mind all the things I feel like I'm missing out on and grieving. I don't get to go to Boulder to evangelize on Friday's which was something I wanted to learn and grow in this summer, I don't get to participate in night activities like the Volleyball tournament and such and honestly I spend a lot time alone and isolated in midst of this awesome community due to my schedule. It's been a lonely summer. I've gotten torn up and dug up by God resulting in a lot of crying, uncomfortableness and just feeling helpless.  He is has been challenging me and convicting me almost constantly, so it's cool to know I'm growing, but that doesn't make the process easier or less painful. He has been super revealing to me and making me really question where I find my worth, value and lies that I believe about myself on the most deep level I've ever experienced. He has been bringing to the surface a lot of current and past hurt that I haven't really dealt with but more stuffed down. It's been a lot. It's been draining. It's been really difficult. And most days I'm left with feeling like 'wow, I never really realized that that's how I really looked at things' or even just being like 'yeah that was a really hurtful experience, and it's impacted me more that I realize' and 'it's okay to feel that hurt' etc. The super frustrating part is I feel like all these things are brought up and I'm giving them to God, but I feel so helpless is the process waiting for Him to take them. I'm just so ready for Him to take them. I guess it's a lesson in patience.

So yeah we're half way through and so much of me is ready to be back in Columbia living 'real and normal life'. I'm ready for fall. But God isn't finished yet. A lot of pieces need to be put together, because I don't think I can go back to Columbia with what feels like all my insides hanging out. And who knows maybe God has more digging to do, I really hope not because I'm not sure how much more I can take. But last night at service Jeff (the speaker that night) said the Honeymoon phase of LT is over and it's about to get real and tough. I don't know about you guys, but if this is what a honeymoon is like, I'm never getting married. Honeymoon isn't the first word that comes to mind when I think of the last 5 weeks. Far from it. So who knows what else God has in-store. I'm definitely clinging to the truth that this is all for my good. That's all I really can do. And just to seek God through it all. 

There's so much more that I could go on and on about, but that's a little of what God is doing in my life right now. Miss you guys!!

Margaret

Ok so Colorado LT is going really well. There are so many things to tell you guys but I'll try to condense it to a few things. Here goes.

One major difference being out here is that Aimee and I are able to spend a lot more time together, whether that's doing ministry or just hanging out. Yeah, we've still had to be intentional to get time together but having much more similar schedules than during the school year is great. It's a huge highlight.

Our project group has been going really well. We've gotten to hear a lot of vulnerability from our group and that has been something that really has stirred me. Most weeks we've had a couple people share their testimony and, considering we're all basically a bunch of strangers (or were), to hear their openness has been so encouraging. We've got some people with some rough stories who have really been delivered from some heavy stuff and that's been cool to see them open up. It is definitely motivating me to see that transfer to our Canvas Group this fall.

Another huge thing has been doing evangelism. I'm co-leading weekly trips to Boulder for some contact evangelism (aka talking to strangers about Jesus on the streets) and that has been awesome. Joe and Ami have both gone and it's been cool to have them there. Aimee and I paired up when our project group went to Ft Collins yesterday and had an hour long convo with a train-hopping couple over lunch. It's really been stretching me and is further fueling me to start thinking about stuff for the fall.

Besides that, I've really enjoyed getting some awesome time with our Plaza folks who are here and others. I have so much more to share but for now I'm going to play some disc golf with Joe! I look forward to hearing from the rest of you!

Chris

Hey guys,

I feel like summer is going by super quick, which in a way is super awesome, because all the stuff I’m learning out here in Colorado is making me stoked to get back home and back on campus.

To say LT has been a whirlwind so far would be an understatement. I’ve been super busy. Between playing electric guitar in the Tuesday night band (which takes a lot more preparation than playing bass, at least for me), working 40 hours a week, doing a theology study group once a week with a few people from my project group, planning for and leading a life group (basically a core group), memorizing John’s 99, swimming 3 days a week in the mornings with John and Andrew, and working on stuff for the Rock music team with Andrew, just trying to find an hour or so every day for prayer and reading my Bible has been a struggle (and I usually just end up doing it during the countless slow hours at work, like right now as I type this up). Not exactly ideal, but I think it’s working out pretty well.

I’ve also been learning a crazy amount of stuff already. One thing that was especially eye-opening for me was some relational evangelism training that John did on our last project day called Son-Life training. I’ve talked to Chris about having all of us as equippers doing some version of this, because I really do think it’s an awesome program. Basically it just made me think about my relationships with my non-Christian friends, and whether I’m really pointing those towards Christ. The only problem with the training is that we do it in the 2^nd week of LT, and now I’m stoked to get back on campus and put it in practice.

It’s also been a weirdly tough summer, just being away from my family and the built-in support system they provide me for the first time, and being away from the community of guys I’ve surrounded myself with these past few semesters (basically it feels super weird not having a cup of coffee at Dumas before I go to bed). I’m leaning more on people I’m not super familiar with, and of course trying to rely more on Christ, so that has been both an incredible challenge and an awesome learning opportunity.

All in all, I’m super excited about the next 9 weeks and all that I’m sure I’ll learn, but I’m also already super stoked about all the momentum that I feel building up for going back to campus.

-Joe

PS I didn't reread this after I wrote it because that sounded boring, so I'm sorry if there are errors or parts that don't make sense.

expectations

hmmm...